You may think of yourself as “a more emotional” or “a more logical” person. Some of us operate with our emotions in the driver’s seat, while others prefer to allow logic and facts to lead the way. However, all of us rely on our emotions AND logic to help us navigate through life. This balance between emotions and logic is exemplified in the “Wise Mind” model, created in the late 1980s by Dr. Marsha Linehan as part of her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy curriculum.

Wise Mind posits that at times we may fall too far into either category. Maybe we’re ignoring our emotions, only making decisions that honor the objective truths; maybe facts and logic go out the window once we face something that brings out our emotions. The goal is to find a happy medium, your Wise Mind. Here’s some examples that might help this concept make more sense (from Wise Mind | Student Affairs | SDSU)

The situation: You receive a text message from your friend that says something came up last minute and they will not be able to go to see a movie with you.

Emotion-Focused Response: They apologize, but you are furious. You tell yourself that they are inconsiderate and you cannot believe that they would do this to you. You respond by telling them, in a long text message, that they need to be more thoughtful when they agree to do something, that they are being disrespectful, and that you do not think you want to see movies with them anymore. They do not respond and you feel guilty later about how you responded, particularly because you are not sure if something really bad came up for them.

Logic-Focused Response: You receive the same text message, but tell them it is ‘fine’. You go to see the movie by yourself, reminding yourself that you already planned to go. When you are in the theater by yourself, you remember how much you had been looking forward to seeing the movie with them and begin to feel a little sad that you did not try to reschedule.

Wise Mind Response: After receiving the text message, you feel disappointed and frustrated. You love going to movies with this friend. You remember that your friend has always been reliable in the past and it is not like them to cancel last minute. You tell yourself that something may have come up for them and you reach out to check in to see if they are okay. They respond and say “Something really tough just came up at home. Can’t talk now, but will tell you more later.” You are now worried about them, but are relieved that you did not respond immediately based on your emotions or without additional facts.

Doing our best to remain in balance with our emotions and the facts isn’t an easy job and can take quite a bit of practice. Can you think of a time you responded to a situation relying solely on emotions? On facts? How can you better balance the two?

Stay tuned for future blog posts about ways to help remain in Wise Mind!

Thanks for reading!

Wise Mind

Hygge